I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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