Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
its not stalking. its research.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
