weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
