Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
