I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
