i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
