please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
