When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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