Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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