Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
