Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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