I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
