There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
