I never want to see another naked old woman again.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
