Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
