how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
