Ambien. No doubt about it.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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