NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
