there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
