can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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