I think im going to throw up on grandma
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
