id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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