I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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