didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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