All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
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