oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
