It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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