I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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