i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I don't think brook has ever known best
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize