Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
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