You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Banned from zoo.
Again?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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