thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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