You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
my shit smells like andre
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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