I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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