apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
