I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
