He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
