Umm I'm too high to move.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
