Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
