just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I think my moral compass just broke
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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