I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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