Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
