I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
