would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
