I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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