capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
