Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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