apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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