I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
