he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
