It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
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