I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
