How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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