so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Randomize
