How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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