I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
