bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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