Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Everyone says I win the strip club
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
