I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
