My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
