I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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