sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
