i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
