I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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