I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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